Exams come only two weeks after Thanksgiving Break. These deceivingly short weeks seem to sneak up on poor students who took the luxury of not thinking about the assessments during the break. Perhaps Thanksgiving Break was specifically designed to weed out the more complacent students, enticing them with a week free of grades and homework, only to rip the carpet out from under their feet when – surprise! – a quarter of their grade is to be decided in half a month.
Regardless of this intriguing and very much veritable conspiracy, the time leading up to exams are more often than not home to less than sound nights and a faster than average heart rate. However, there appears to be a great flaw regarding the approach to exams; the question is always ‘How should I study?’ and never ‘How bad can it get?’ Because, Dear Reader, if you truly did realize how bad – how hauntingly bad – it could get, then I assure you, with a guarantee as reliable as an offer from your uncle who happens to be the King of Nigeria, your frantic studies would magnify at a rate akin to y = x2 – exponentially.
Now, as a gesture of generosity, I offer you two terrifying test-taking tales that will no doubt cause you to truly realize how bad it can get, making fear speed your studies to an extent that would make meeting a similar demise completely impossible. You’re welcome.
We first arrive on a seemingly inconspicuous day in Algebra 2, following one Brendan Reed ‘24 as he takes to his seat. Brendan is about to be on the receiving end of an algebraic assessment–a matter deserving little strife, as Brendan surely devoted his time to reviewing notes and attending tutorials in order to receive a grade accurate to his investment.
However, a problem.
“I didn’t know I had a test,” Reed said. A grade accurate to his investment he would receive. “I looked on Veracross, and nothing was there.”
A truthful defense, or an excuse to safeguard what would otherwise be a forever-damaged reputation? That is up to the reader to decide.
Needless to say, Reed was unhappy after taking the test. What would happen to his grade? Would it spiral into a lost cause? Would it forever ruin his college ventures, his dreams of post-high school education dashed by this evaluation of unimaginable consequence? Would his grade, even, skip the notorious F and transmute into the fabled G?
Fortunately for Reed, none of these very plausible possibilities became reality, and, according to his own relieved words, the effect the test had on his grade “wasn’t terrible.” It wasn’t terrible for him, Dear Reader, but it is terrible for you, as this optimistic conclusion has surely not frightened you into a position where further studying would seem necessary.
Thus, we continue, searching for a more ghastly tale of test-taking delirium.
And we arrive.
We find ourselves in a situation that will soon be familiar to freshmen: the Geometry Exam. Math seems to be making a case for itself in producing some frightful assessment memories, so perhaps it would be for the best to take extra caution when preparing for the subject.
One Shreya Surapaneni ‘25 did not take this advice. Surapaneni claims that she “is not a Geometry person,” and thus “was not feeling confident for the exam,” a problem that could easily be solved by simply becoming a Geometry person. However, seeing as she indeed did not become a Geometry person, she naturally panicked upon seeing the questions the exam so presumptuously presented her. Cosines, altitudes, orthocenters – how could she know all this if she wasn’t a Geometry person? A miscalculation by the exam writer, it would seem.
“I thought I would actually get an F on the exam,” Surapaneni said. A foul fate indeed.
After she completed the exam, one which surely won’t have the courtesy to escape her memories any time soon, Surapaneni searched for assurance in community, hoping that her experience wasn’t unique. However, upon hearing other recounts of the exam, her panic increased – nay, exponentialized, as it surely has for you, too, Dear Reader.
“Everyone was like ‘oh, this test was so easy,’” Surapaneni said. “And I was like, OK, panic mode increasing.”
The good fortune of her classmates gave Surapaneni more grief, it seems. Grief that would be short lived, as upon receiving her results, she was not greeted with an F, but a B. All’s well that ends well, and Surapaneni’s mathematical mishap certainly ended, well, well.
But, Dear Reader, how could these stories possibly frighten you into thinking it of the utmost priority to study, study and study more for such a pertinent portion of your grade? How could these stories of reassuring resolutions possibly have vanquished any procrastinatory predispositions? You see, with a technical finesse akin to Moriarty’s tricks against Holmes, I have actually influenced you into feeling a sense of comfort concerning exams.
Through these tales you have learned exactly how bad it can get, and that ultimately, ‘it’ cannot get all that bad. Does this striking discovery give you reason to cast off your studies and doze off unaffected by its burdens? Perhaps, but you will be suffering the choice’s consequences.
Study as much as you see fit, and study some more for good measure, but to study until you break is illogical. Just study until you’re about to break, so that the exam doesn’t break you.
