
Photo by Ann H on Pexels.com
By Akiva Bryant, Riley Jones, Brett Schlossberg
We asked around teens at Woodward what situations they might need advice for, and this is our response to some! Remember, if you have something you’d like to include for our next Advice issue, fill out the anonymous google form on our website.
“How do I believe if someone is genuinely my friend, or if they’re just using me for schoolwork, money, etc?“
If you two usually help each other out, or you don’t mind giving them things, then ignore this. But if you feel like you can’t have a conversation with someone without them constantly asking for stuff, then they likely don’t have your best interests in mind. Here’s something– start saying “no.” If they start to push away because you’re no longer giving them what they want, that shows you who they really are. It’s ok to refuse something just because you don’t want to do it. If you don’t want to give them money—even if you have enough to fix global debt/world hunger, you don’t HAVE to do it. You could also ask them for the same things they ask you for. If they get defensive or complain about it, then you know to leave them alone.
— Akiva Bryant
If they are not being as nice to you, then you should confront them, but don’t be aggressive. Tell them that you appreciate their friendship and you just feel like they aren’t as nice to you as you are to them. Maybe try sitting with someone else for a few days before talking to them. If they change after what you tell them, then they are a true friend.
–Brett Schlossberg
“How do I decide what friends are best for me?”
That’s honestly hard because it’s dependent on your personality. But I will say, not everyone is going to be, have to be, or is your friend, and that’s ok. Some people you will just say “hi” to and might never have a true conversation with them, and that’s perfectly fine. For example, I consider people truly good friends when I can have conversations with them outside of school/schoolwork/class, etc. However, I wouldn’t limit yourself to who you think “fits” your personality. Sometimes your friendships are the best when they’re unexpected.
— Akiva Bryant
Find people who share common values with you and care about you.
— Brett Schlossberg
“How do I respectfully confront a teacher?”
Calmly explain the situation to them. Most teachers are level headed and understanding. If they aren’t, or just don’t get what you’re saying, I’d speak to my counselor about it. Not to go “over” them, but to figure out the best way for that teacher to know what’s going on.
— Akiva Bryant
You should try to communicate any problems you have to your teachers without accusing them, and respect any response or actions they may take to resolve it. At the end of the day, your teachers are here to help you, so if you talk to them about a problem you can find a solution.
— Brett Schlossberg